Friday, 9 January 2015

Sat on one of the crystal ornaments hanging from our tree and buzzed...

Life is mostly a journey of understanding yourself.

You learn, you experience and you grow inside a long internal walk.

And it goes up and down and turns all around, but its just a trip.

And before you understand that it can be scary as hell...

Buts its just a trip.

Today was a day where when i woke up i felt almighty and powerful and that was for a variety of reasons which were logical and beautiful to me.

All of my body was brimming with energy and i had the kind of feeling you believe that anything can be done given the right time. I had the most joyous morning coffee with my family and went for a walk to the mountain. It was a clear sunny Christmas day, practically more hot than cold, i saw a woodpecker and two squirrels, gathered some cones and flowers and returned home where Xmas dinner preparations were being done.

For me up to here i can say that this is an ideal kind of day.

An hour later minutes before all the guests were to come, we had a call from a close family member (who was supposed to come too) telling us that she was sick and that she wouldn't make it. My father rushed there and took her to the hospital where they diagnosed a kidney problem. The mood dropped and it turned out to be not the best Christmas we've have had.

It can be funny how brittle can our welfare is.

We suppose all of this knowledge can bring us safety and solve all our problems but reality is quite different.

In just a moment all of those positive feelings were suddenly at stake, and there i stood anxious and of no help.

At that point what crossed my mind was how balance and happiness seemed so un-attainable from that point of life. I felt that i was suddenly being dragged away from that light. Really!

After about two hours, all the thoughts i am putting into letters above came again to my mind, not as panacea or analgesics for my "wounded happiness" but as reminders of how things happen, just like they have had for numerous times before. And for that i am thankful.

As i see it now... no matter what you do or who you are, you are just but a cork floating in a sea of possibilities. Its futile to try to control it. So at least try to accept it.



Thoughts inspired by Ram Dass, Bill Hicks.

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